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Heading Home with a layover - SLC to Memphis

2010-08-31T05:38:00.000-07:00

I find airports fascinating in much the same way I enjoy sitting in coffee shops. Lets call it the joy of “people watching” with a twist. Airports are a concentrated arena of emotions ranging from excitement to outright anger. I believe the lack of control puts people on edge. Some will be happy while others will be stressed. Some will be ancy with excitement while others will be tired from a long business trip. It is all laid out there in front of you if you take the time to look. People will react differently to flight delays. Some start to complain to strangers sitting next to them while others simply groan. But in the end, nothing will make a difference. So… Sit back, relax, and enjoy the ride.

There are forced interactions when you fly. Tell me the last time you sat in a 24 inch seat for hours on end next to a complete stranger (for hundreds of dollars). I had the joy of sitting next to quite the pair today on leg two of a three flight day. I have the uncanny ability to notice the last person I want to be seated next to and then by chance, luck or fate, be seated next to them. At least this time I had the isle…or so I thought this would be a good thing.

Cowboy hats, leopard print shirt, the stench of cigarettes, cowboy boots, black spandex pants that are three sizes too small and an oversized carry on bag that will never fit in an overhead bin. Yep, that’s the couple I spotted while waiting for the flight to leave Salt Lake City on my way to DC via Memphis. Moments after I get to my seat I am engrossed by this pseudo cowboy trying to cram his bag into the overhead bin directly over my head. An unpleasant turn of my head places his crotch directly at eye level. Fantastic.

The plane is delayed at the gate with no air conditioning. The temperature appears to be rising by the minute. No worries, I will just roll up my sleeves. A flight attendant assures us that we will be moving shortly….10 minutes pass, 20 minutes pass, sweat starts beading on my forehead…30 minutes pass…I begin to fear that the anti-perspirant I’m wearing will begin to fail with 8 more hours of traveling to go…40 minutes pass and the engines turn on and we begin to taxi to the runway.

Shortly after takeoff I fall asleep. I’m hoping to sleep for at least half of the 4 hour flight. That was the plan. 25 minutes into the flight the lovely woman next to me jabs me in the ribs. I’m startled but can’t quite figure out what it was. Is there turbulence? Am I still dreaming? Boom, it happens again. I open my eyes, still in a haze, and look to my right. This beast of a woman is staring at me giving me a look as if I have been terribly rude. Was I snoring? Were my arms flailing in my sleep invading her precious space? Nope. She had to go to the bathroom.

25 minutes into the flight…Who does that? Especially when the person next to you is sleeping?

I am irritated, and begin observing how gross these two actually are. Here are the notes I took on my iphone…unedited.

- He’s chewing dip on a plane. Is that allowed? It shouldn’t be. He’s spitting into a clear bottle. Even grosser.
- They order two glasses of wine and two bloody marries…at the same time.
- She has leathery skin. It reminds me of the old lady in the movie, There’s Something About Mary. Her voice sounds like that of someone that has smoked cigarettes for decades. Her voice is manlier than the guy she is with.
- Is she wearing a wig?
- She has man hands. Why are they invading my space? Good thing there is an armrest between us.
- She spills her glass of wine on the floor while adding Pringles to a sandwich. (yes you read that correctly)
- Maybe this isn’t the first drink of her day.
- He drinks his bloody marry our of a single bar straw (the small red ones). For a guy that wears cowboy boots and a cowboy hat, this has to be the least manly way to drink a Bloody Marry.

Dam You Prohibition (No Taxation Without Representation)

2010-08-19T19:15:00.000-07:00

Imagine living in a country without income taxes. A place where you took home every cent of your hard earned salary. That sounds crazy, right? Sounds like something that could never exist in the US, right? Well, it's the way things were before 1913. And the cause of enacting an income tax? PROHIBITION. The crazy idea that didn't work very well in the early 1900's directly led to the income tax. Prior to prohibition, 1/3 of all government revenue came from taxing alcohol sales. Without it, the government needed another source and looked directly at the hard working citizens of the US. What better way to ensure government revenue than to take the money directly out of your paycheck and then force people to file a tax return!

A better tax policy would be a direct sales tax. Taxation should be based on consumption and not on what you earn. Why should the government be entitled to a portion of my hard work? Well, it originally wasn't. But I digress....

After nearly 100 years of income taxes we have come to accept the current policy. The founding fathers are shaking their heads. After all, disagreements about taxation helped bring upon the revolutionary war. ("No Taxation Without Representation", remembered that one from elementary school) As it stands now, taxation changes require congressional approval by a majority. Also, as it stands we have a progressive tax policy where the tax rate increases as the taxable income increases. The top ten percent of wage earners currently pay close to 65% of all income taxes.

What happens when the majority realizes that they have the power to take advantage of the financially empowered minority? You already see glimpses of this happening in California where initiatives are put on ballots for funding special interest projects that are funded entirely by extra charges to the top tax brackets. There is nothing that prevents the majority from increasing the tax rate on the wealthy to 60, 70, 80 or even 90 percent of their income.

Do the top earners move to other countries? Will top earners be less motivated to work hard? Would it lead to civil unrest? Who knows...

QOTD (Quote of the Day)

2010-08-19T18:39:00.000-07:00

"Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan, 'Press on,' has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race." —Calvin Coolidge

Blunt opinion: Religion

2010-08-17T13:47:00.000-07:00

A controversy over religion. I have recently had a number of conversations regarding the topic of RELIGION. I know, many of you are already disgusted at the fact that I'm even bringing it up. Well, this is called BLUNT OPINIONS so I might as well be blunt. My personal view is that I have no clue whether God actually exists and I would be willing to wager on the fact that no one, not a single person, not the smartest scientist or the most religious rabbi/priest in the entire world can actually prove that God exists OR doesn't exist. This is what faith is based on. The commitment to believing in something even when there is no proof.

Personally, I like proof. It makes me feel better knowing that someone has actually figured out why a plane flies or why the sun rises in the east and sets in the west. To take this a step further, the absence of proof doesn't mean that something doesn't exist. History is full of events that didn't make sense at the time but were in fact true. The first people to realize that the world wasn't flat didn't have proof but that didn't make their observation or claim any less right. But the inverse is also true and possibly even more important to remember. The fact that you believe in something (no matter how much you believe in it) does not make it true. In the end, no one knows.

Personally, I don't believe that there is a God. I find it hard to believe that there is something out there that is thought to be all knowing, all powerful, even "all mighty" that continually allows so much misery and pain on a daily basis. A quick look through the newspaper will reveal the struggles people deal with on a daily basis. Floods, disease, war, famine, rape, murder, theft, and poverty exist on almost every continent. Doesn't all of this suffering create even a small bit of doubt in the most ardent believers? And here's the real question that I have wanted to come to. What is so wrong with doubting? Isn't doubting what has enabled us to advance this far as a civilization? Isn't it doubt that convinced the Wright brothers to try to fly. Wasn't it doubt that convinced Christopher Columbus to try to find a new path to the Indies? All I'm arguing is that doubting the existence of something that can not be proven isn't wrong but should be encouraged. We might find in the end that this doubt can lead to a better result. People come together when they are trying to solve a problem. It takes teamwork, compromise, trial and error. The exact opposite is the case when two parties firmly believe they are right and won't consider opening their mind to compromise or the fact that "God forbid" they might be wrong (couldn't help myself with that one). Just look at the Democrats and Republicans.

Let's just consider for a second that God does in fact exist. Lets also assume that I will be judged in front of a set of pearly white gates. All of my life sins will be presented and compared with a much smaller list of positive life experiences. Lets just say, and I'm stretching here that only "good" people will be let into heaven while the rest will be sent to rot in a hell much worse than the ones created by movie directors and authors. I'm talking about true pain and misery for eternity (think Event Horizon - where your worst fears haunt you). I would hope that I am judged NOT on the fact that i believed or had faith in God but whether I actually led a positive life without creating undue harm to others. Did I kill anyone? NOPE. Did i steal hundreds of thousands from poor and innocent people (a la Bernie Madoff)? NOPE. Was I a good friend to those that needed a friend? Yes. Those are the things that should matter. Those are the things that I would like to hope this "all powerful and mighty" God will judge me on and not whether I believed or prayed to him. So, regardless of whether I actually believe or not, I will continue to go about my life living in a positive manner. I don't see murder in my future and with that I can rest happy knowing that if in fact i'm wrong and there is a God, everything will be just OK.

Blunt Opinions

2010-08-17T07:14:00.000-07:00

I'm playing around with the idea of creating a space to openly make blunt, "characterized by directness in manner or speech; without subtlety or evasion" observations, critiques, or statements.

BE BLUNT...(bluntisms?)

Wearing sandals in a big city is disgusting. Look at your feet at the end of the day and they will inevitably be black having picked up the dirt and grime of the sidewalks and streets. Think about it before you put them on next time.

Stone should never be used as a verb. It should be left as a harmless noun. "Look at that lovely stone." Once it is converted to a verb bad things tend to follow. "To stone" is never followed by a positive clause...

Why only Saturday and Sunday?

2010-08-15T08:46:00.000-07:00

We have all come to enjoy the weekend. The moment we finish work on Friday there is a sense of relief and excitement that the next two days are going to be something special. The weekend is "our time" to do whatever it is we feel like without the guilt of work hanging over our heads or the dread of another early morning and possibly late night. In some senses, we look forward to a late night (oh, how the meaning changes). But who was it that decided we should get two consecutive days in a row on Saturday and Sunday? I know there is a religious meaning but its meaning has to be deeper than that. Did the Greeks and Romans take the weekend off? Was there a council of elders that sat around and said, "one day doesn't seem like enough...and three days is just crazy. Let's settle on two days." Odds are this isn't how it happened either. Also, the weekend must be a fairly modern concept. Nomadic tribes and early farmers probably didn't have the resources to take two full days off.

The weekend is so ingrained in our thinking that we feel violated when a boss wants us to work. After all, it is "your" weekend!

Let's take a step back and think about if there is a better way to set up a week. Wouldn't it be nice to have Wednesday off? It would break up the week and possibly even rejuvenate your mind and energy levels for Thursday and Friday. While we are at it, why not add a day off every two days of work. It can be a rotating calendar. Two days on, one day off. Productivity would explode. There's no better motivator than a deadline and this system would create a deadline every two days. There would be no room to procrastinate until Thursday when you are drained from meetings, sales pitches, reports, daily tasks, nosey coworkers and not to mention your actual LIFE. But I might be getting ahead of myself here. Let's get back to the joy of THE WEEKEND as we currently now it.

Without a doubt some of us will decide the best way to spend a weekend is to do nothing. The sweet, sweet joy of sitting on a couch ignoring responsibilities is something special almost all of us have enjoyed at least once (while others will be blushing, realizing that is exactly how they spent last weekend). The enjoyment takes on a new meaning when you have a busy life. It's like the yin to the yang of the high paced, always in contact world we live in. It's that much better when life is busy and has you running on all cylinders. So, take a load off and wait for next weekend. Imagine what you might be doing or more importantly, what you might NOT be doing.

Word Clouds - Tagxedo

2010-07-17T10:00:00.000-07:00

Have you ever seen those word clouds and wondered how to make one? Well, here's an easy solution provided by Tagxedo.com. Simply create a .txt document or sync to a webpage or blog and you are done. They make it easy to customize the shape, colors, font type and layout. The possibilities are almost endless. I created the one below. It signifies my interests and experiences (as much as i could think of in 5 minutes...) I picked the shape of the US to signify my unfettered love for AMERICA (just kidding). I thought it was neat looking and makes me think of my life transition from the LA to Colorado to DC.

The Next Step

2010-05-18T19:50:00.000-07:00

An ode to to a special couple...every once in a while you meet two people you know will eventually get married. They seem to be perfect in the idyllic couple kind of way. Instead of making you noxious in an irritatingly flirtatious and fake sense, they exude a true sense of happiness when they are around each other. They manage to joke about the others faults not in a malicious way but rather in a "that's what makes them special" sort. These are the couples that you can't quite imagine apart. They are a couple. And you honestly hope they stay that way.

This is the case with my great friends Pat and Laura. I have known them for years. I have somehow always known they would end up together. And while it might be dating me a bit, freshman year in college was almost a decade ago. There was just some sort of genuine love for each other that you just don't see everywhere. It doesn't hurt that each of them individually is the kindest, smartest, down to earth, and caring person. Put them together and it's an almost unstoppable combination. Individually they are amazing, together they are perfect.

This is the first of my friends to actually make the plunge and I couldn't be happier for them.

Mazel Tov. That's jew speak for Congrats!

The PIGS

2010-02-09T13:10:00.000-08:00

Sometimes an acronym can exacerbate a problem. I believe this is the case for the newly anointed European PIGS: Portugal, Ireland, Greece and Spain. This group of countries, all part of the European Union have huge budget deficits weighing down on there economies which have not recovered from last year's economic meltdown. Speculation is starting to spread that at least one of them could default on their loans as it is becoming harder and much more costly for them to borrow. Combine this with the fear that Germany, currently the EU's strongest and most robust economy will not intervene if or when they do.

While an acronym should have no influence on investors and their investing decisions, I don't believe that is the case here. Perception is as important as ever as the world economy tries to rebound from the worst recession in decades. Most governments have tried to spend their way into growth which has greatly helped but what happens when they can no longer borrow? Greece is in the worst shape of them all. But unfortunately for the "IGS" they will all be discussed whenever a conversation touches on Europe's troubles. It is just too catchy of an acronym for the pundits to resist.

Mixed up Guacamole

2010-02-08T20:04:00.000-08:00

2 Grilled sweet corn cobs - remove corn from the cob
1 Diced tomato
4 Diced Avocados - cubed and slightly mashed
1/2 to 3/4 Chopped red onion
1 grilled and chopped jalapeno pepper with the skin removed
1 diced garlic cove
Cilantro - the more the merrier
Lime juice - 3/4 of a lime or to taste
Olive oil - one tbls
Dash of cayenne pepper
Salt and pepper
Optional cucumber (b.c. I love cucumber)

Eat with Endive...or chips

Remove corn for standard guacamole

SLC Layover

2010-01-08T19:05:00.000-08:00

What’s wrong with this picture?

I know there's something wrong but I can't quite place my finger on it...

O.K. I think I have narrowed it down. Is it the fact that there is a cat in the airport? Or is the shocking part that there is a cat in the airport on a leash walking around wearing a sweater?

How about this picture?

Yep, it’s a pug. You know, the small, fairly worthless dogs that have a hard time breathing which causes them to snore louder than fat old men. Well, this pug is proudly being touted as a service dog by his two even more proud dads. Oh yes, that is a man.

Airports are an amazing place. A mix of all walks of life. Presently I’m staring at a 55 year old man proudly wearing a leather biker jacket, checking his email on his smartphone wearing Velcro shoes…it's all very, very confusing.

There’s a woman proudly being driven through the airport because she’s too heavy to walk from one terminal to another. I’m pretty sure the walk would do her well. Unfortunately I don't have a picture because the cart was weaving through pedestrian traffic. But then again, it's probably for the best.

There’s a group of burka clad women standing in the middle of terminal C. As people walk by it is obvious that they are not trying to look but you can’t hide your eyes. Almost every pair strains to the side as they pass, innocently making sure there’s no funny business going on.

Classic America sits down next to me. Well, half of them. The real looker sits on the floor and shakes her hand at what must be her parents. The arm fat sways long after the hand stops shaking. I can’t help but notice that she’s wearing a wedding ring…it must be her husband sitting by her side with a semi retarded look on his face. A comment that would normally sound insensitive but in this case it is the most accurate description one can make. It’s here that I start to wonder how long the two have been married. If this guy can find a wife, anyone can...

Helpful Improvements (aka bitch session)

2010-01-07T16:28:00.000-08:00

#1 (oh yeah, there's more than one! This is what happens when Delta and Alaska Airlines completely screw up my flight home. I'm still in Sun Valley...More on that later.)

Try paying a bill or asking your cable or energy company a question (looking at you Excel, AT&T, Sprint), or better yet try contacting someone who works for United, American Airlines, Cheap Tickets or Expedia. Yes, I'm directing this at all of you. Please tell me that this isn't way too familiar; you call looking to pay your bill and you end up listening to the following, "we are sorry, there is an unexpected large volume of calls right now. Please stay on the line and the next representative will be with you shortly. Your patience is appreciated." What does it tell you that I was able to recite that from memory!

If there is ALWAYS an unexpectedly large volume of callers, doesn't the large volume eventually become EXPECTED and shouldn't they DEAL WITH IT? Call me crazy over here... You claimed that you farmed out customer service to call centers to "better serve" the customers. But i'm not naive, the real reason was to cut costs. This leads me to my next, and yes somewhat obvious but equally brilliant comment/request. Why doesn't the automated voice service that asks for ALL of your personal information, D.O.B., social security number, address, mothers maiden name, if you have any birth marks in interesting places... record this information somewhere for the representative you are eventually going to talk to? Furthermore, why can't they pass on the information to the next customer service representative once the first person you are talking to realizes that they can not help you? I don't think the first person I have ever talked to has been able to fully help me. EVER. You?

Here's one of the HELP ME, HELP YOU moments i'm so fond of.

Imagine how much time can be saved if the customer service representative didn't need to repeat all of those questions? On an individual basis it's pretty small, but if you added up all of the calls they take in a day, week, or month and it quickly becomes the mathematical equivalent of A SHIT LOAD! With all of the added time they have they can answer more calls.

How does this help them?

Think about how much nicer people will be if they don't have to wait on hold and answer the exact same questions they just struggled through while talking to an automated machine?

#2

If I didn't know better I would assume that it was part of Obama's job creation program, but it's not. I'm talking about the 2 or 3 TSA people at every airport terminal exit making sure people are only exiting. This truly skilled (see Newark airport fiasco from last week where someone slipped back into the airport AFTER making a scene and was actively being watched by TSA security) job can probably be replaced with a one-way turn-style found in many NY subway stations. This alone could save the airports close to 100K a year.

Email Evolution: The "Unsend"

2010-01-06T09:33:00.000-08:00

Font size...Check

Font color, bold, italicize...Of Course

Undo...For Sure

Hyperlinks, lists, bullets...Why Not

spell check...STANDARD

Sending a letter has come a long way since the days when you had to lick a stamp and envelope. Email has made all of us perfect spellers and cured even the most illegible handwriting. But even with all of these great advances, email still lacks one small but greatly important feature. Lets call it the "unsend" button (and funny enough, I just got the red squiggly line I depend on to correct my atrocious spelling. I guess "unsend" isn't a real word...YET.) I'm sure everyone has experienced the sickening feeling that comes with a preemptive push of the send button. It can come from forgetting to include an attachment, noticing a misspelled word, or even being way too honest after a couple glasses of wine. But whatever the reason, the technology to unsend an email, if and only if the recipient has not opened it should be available.

Google has made a small step in the right direction with a 20 second undo window...http://gmailblog.blogspot.com/2009/03/new-in-labs-undo-send.html

But I need more.

The Importance of Friends and Family

2010-01-05T15:08:00.000-08:00

It's the holiday/new year's season so I bet a lot of you are thinking that i'm about to write some sappy post about how much I love my family and friends and how important their support over the last year has been....but no, no, no. I'm going to take an entirely different approach to the importance of family and friends. It's a social commentary on the advantages someone has purely based on the family they were born into.

YOU ARE WHO YOU HANG OUT WITH

I was recently having a conversation with a successful lawyer about his son who was recently accepted to Stanford. I'm sure he's a bright student, finishing second in his high school class (i wasn't aware these statistics were released, but i wasn't going to question him) but what really interested me was his essay question answer. He explained that his sons essay was a comparison of music lyrics to his life and how the lyrics either influenced or mirrored his life and I'm not going to lie, I was impressed. I can guarantee you that my essay questions for undergrad were well inside the box. I asked how his son thought of the idea and to my surprise, he admitted that it was his brother's idea. And this is what made me think (to myself of course) IS WHY FAMILY AND FRIENDS ARE SO IMPORTANT. The mere fact that he put himself, through his own accord or not, in contact with educated people helped him come up with a great idea, that probably helped him get into one of the premier universities in the country.

Let me explain...

Throughout life you are influenced by the people around you. As a child your vocabulary is almost purely a function of what your parents say. You are a sponge whether you like it or not and some people are more fortunate than others to be surrounded by educated and successful people. But the advantages don't stop there. How many times have you heard the saying, "it's not what you know, it's the people you know." There's a lot of truth to that saying and it all shouldn't be looked upon negatively. People attend college and graduate school to make connections and I have a number of friends that have helped other friends find jobs. Should all of these people be judged negatively? I THINK NOT! There's a limit to how much these so called connections can do for you without you taking on the onus to present yourself in a proper, intelligent, and likable manner. The door is opened a lot of the time because of these connections but you need to seize the day (carpe diem, if you will) and walk through the door.

It's Working for Cigarettes...

2009-08-27T06:24:00.000-07:00

Cigarettes are taxed heavily in the United States. Every couple months a new tax is levied in an effort to curb their use and help pay for the costs to society.

So here's a question...Why not tax junk food in the same way. US obesity rates are at all time highs and the negative affects to society are clear to see. I have less space on the subway or in an airplane seat...sorry, couldn't help myself. But all kidding aside, junk food is directly linked to health problems which cost society money (side note: maybe we should give tax credits for gym membership/gym use?) Certain types of diabetes are almost entirely preventable with moderate amounts of exercise and a healthy diet.

Congress has already begun thinking about this with their proposed "soda tax." Does it go far enough? Does this line of thinking go too far?

We already charge people for engaging in activities that are harmful to society. Police give tickets for running red lights, speeding and not using your turn signal. Alcohol is taxed heavily. It's not too much of a stretch to start taxing ice cream, fast food and candy in the same way.

This post was inspired by Maxim's "The 7 Stages of Being Fat"

Cuban's Got it Right

2009-08-26T19:50:00.000-07:00

Most people outside of Texas, and more particularly Dallas don't have a favorable opinion of Mark Cuban. Let's face it, he's a nusance to the NBA and gets away with it because he has billions of dollars. BUT it's hard to deny that he's a very smart man. You don't make billions of dollars if you're not. He often writes on his blog the BLOG MAVERICK on a wide variety of topics. In this particular clip from a post he wrote yesterday I couldn't agree more with what he is saying. He articulates a number of my opinions perfectly.

HIGHLY RECOMMENDED READ (even if you don't like economics)!

Some Thoughts on the Economy

"Our government doesn’t know the difference between an investor and a speculator or trader. If we did, we would understand that we should tax the trader/speculator more heavily than the investor.

The investor allows entrepreneurs access to capital and allows them to work with it and build businesses, which in turn build employment and do great things for the economy. The trader/speculator pushes companies to make more money now rather than invest in doing the right thing for the company. The trader/speculator dominates the stock market today, which in turn puts pressure on public company CEOs to cut jobs and play games with their financials in order to give the appearance of stability in a far from stable market. The investor understands the bigger picture and is ok if profits fall for several quarters or even several years as long as the company will maximize its return over the long run.

The government should raises taxes significantly on profits from short term capital gains on the sale of public stocks, indexes, commodities, futures held for 24 hours or less and extend the length of time required to qualify for Long Term capital gains and reduce the tax rate on Long Term gains. This will discourage flash trading, ETFs that move markets purely on cash inflows rather than fundamentals and also reduce the amount of speculation on commodities. It will also reward companies that act in the financial interests of long term holders and their employers. I think the impact on the economy would be far fewer layoffs as CEOs find themselves with more shareholders who think long term rather than short term. Believe it or not, there are shareholders who are fine with companies not beating their numbers if the company is making progress towards a clearly defined goal. I don’t care if the P/E of the stocks I own is 14 or 20. I want the companies investing in being a great company rather than trying to make traders of their stock happy. Most CEOs give great lipservice to this approach, but they are so focused on marking to market their own personal stock portfolios, they emphasize stock performance over doing the right thing for the company. Taxation can change the focus on public companies and stock trading. That would be a great thing for the economy."

Burka, Burka

2009-08-26T08:16:00.000-07:00

Say it twice in a row. Are you enjoying it as much as me? Burka, burka. It reminds me of what the road runner would say after he screwed over Wiley Cayote.

Anyway, i found some more interesting burka stuff...enjoy.

The Burka laptop cover...very important for the hardcore perverts out there. There's nothing quite like masturbating in public...BUT with some privacy.

Eating with a Burka is very difficult. Especially spaghetti!

And then just because it sounds like burka, burka I bring you a clip from Team America. Durka, durka, durka

The Burka Bikini?

2009-08-26T07:28:00.000-07:00

I'm pretty sure even Muslim people find this a little crazy. The Burka Bikini is a head to toe swimsuit for Muslim women. How are they able to call it a bikini? It's anything but...

I prefer this kind of bikini....

Found this funny

2009-08-25T11:42:00.001-07:00

via digg

Cat vs. Aquarium

2009-08-25T11:30:00.000-07:00

Via Funnyordie.com

Cat vs. Aquarium - watch more funny videos

The "Who Cares" Syndrome

2009-08-25T10:33:00.000-07:00

There are still people out there who will remain nameless who feel that they should use status updates and twitter posts to actually write what they are doing at that exact moment. Before you post a status update or tweet (I HATE THAT WORD and CAN'T BELIEVE I USED IT) you should ask yourself:

a) Is this funny?

b) Would I care if someone else wrote it?

c) Does this relate to anyone else?

If the answer isn't "yes" to any of these questions then DON'T POST IT!

I could care less if you are walking through the airport or washing your car. I care even less if you can't fall asleep or are cleaning your room. Do you want a response? I get it, your a little bored and think posting something all of your friends and pseudo friends can see is like talking or connecting with them but it's not.

Imagine if you could just as easily hire a plane with a banner behind it. Would we have millions of planes flying around with meaningless banners that read, "Doug is...Changing his underwear" Actually, that might be incredible. New thought process; Let's subsidize plane banners and kick start this economy.

Apparently some Bengals fans are ahead of the curve and already hired a plane to drag a banner. This is great! http://digg.com/d311tWx I would be fed up too if I were a Bengals fan.

How dangerous is DC?

2009-08-21T20:05:00.000-07:00

I finish up my second full day of orientation. It's my 8th day in this city. Life is good even though it's 11:00 pm, I'm wearing a suit and i'm walking home sweating. I'm not talking about a the type of perspiration that just builds up on your forehead but never really beads into a drop of sweat that I'm used to. I'm talking about a full on, full body drenching. I can shake my head and full streams of water, not drops, cascade off my head AND face. Turst me, I'm the first person to admit that it's gross. It's the type of sweat that drips onto my computer as I write this 10 minutes after I'm in my air conditioned apartment. But I didn't start writing to complain...

About a block and a half away from my apartment I make a slight right turn onto a street called Columbia. It's normally a fairly busy street except for this moment when it's me, my computer and three guys about half a block away that motion to eachother, look at me and then pretend to ignore me as I continue to approach them. It's about this time when all of the comments from friends (thanks everyone!) about how DC is one of the most dangerous cities in the country just behind Flint Michigan. It's about this time that they one of them starts walking ahead about 25 feet in front of me. I keep watching and slow down just a little. I get about 10 feet from the other two and the second gets up and starts walking. I make the concsious decision to continue to walk past them...after all, my apartment is just a hundred yards up the way. Plus, i keep reminding myself that i'm fast (as if that would help me at all in a suit and dress shoes). As I approach the third guy still siting on the curb he looks at the guys that started walking and then at me. We make eye contact. I try to show a confidence that I know whats going on, I'm prepared and i'm not happy about it. I walk past the guy on the street and about 5 steps past him he gets up and starts following me.

This is where I start to internally panic while deliberately not showing anything on the outside. My stride stays confident. My dress shoes purposefully making as much noise as they can. I drift closer to the street side of the sidewalk but continue to walk forward. I begin to approach an alley that seperates the my building and the one next to me. The first guy turns into the alley. The second guy turns into the alley and i'm confident that i'm about to get mugged. I ask myself, "are you fucking kidding me! I'm so hot! I don't want to run but i'm very prepared to." I continue to walk, I turn my head and make eye contact with the guy behind me again. I can't figure out if this is a good thing or not. I continue to walk. I get to the alley and don't hesitate accepting whatever is about to happen. My pace picks up as I look down the alley at two people staring at me waiting. I make it about five steps past the alley when the three guys start talking in a foreign language again. I'm pretty sure the third guy was supposed to drag me into the alley. I'm not sure why he didn't try but I'm thankful. Three against one isn't usually a favorable fight. Good times.

Housing Sales Real?

2009-08-21T08:13:00.000-07:00

“Existing-home sales have increased for fourth month in a row, as a combination of historically low rates, first-time home buyer $8,000 tax credit, and foreclosure pummeled prices have combined to move some inventory.

Existing-home sales rose 7.2% from June, and more importantly, gained 5.0% from July 2008.The bottom line is this is an improving, but heavily government subsidized (Tax credits, ZIRP) data point.”

- Barry Ritholtz, The Big Picture

As Ritholtz states above, the subsidy is a contributing to the rise in home sales. I’m not sure why the connection between increases in home sales and a government subsidy isn’t exactly like the Cash for Clunkers program, which ends Monday evening. We might get an idea of what will happen to the housing market once the subsidies end by what happens when the cash for clunkers program ends. Will the demand fall off a cliff? Probably…

Random observations and ramblings from DC…

2009-08-20T19:39:00.001-07:00

I have encountered more people talking to themselves than anywhere else I have been and I’m not just talking about homeless people. It’s people in line at a restaurant, waiting for the Metro, sitting at a bar and of course the homeless man down the street.

This woman didn’t find it as funny as I did when I gave her a flat tire on one of the ridiculously long escalators out of a Metro station. I find it funny…

Humidity and excessive heat and this little Jew don’t get along. There’s no escaping the oppressive heat. In Colorado where it’s a dry heat you can go into the shade and it’s much cooler…not here! The heat sticks to you! I make the same comment every day; I can’t believe I’m sweating this much! I guess I understand why so many people talk to themselves…It’s the HEAT!

People in DC consider themselves much nicer and friendlier than people in NYC. I have heard this comment in one form or another multiple times in the last week.

People think I’m upset even when I’m not…I’m going to blame that on the heat too even though I know it’s not the case. I just look like a curmudgeon sometimes, and by sometimes, I mean often.

When you first meet someone, don’t tell them that you are a great bullshitter. It doesn’t build trust or confidence. (is bullshitter really not a word? If not, it should be added to the dictionary next year. This might be my lasting contribution to society.)

And finally, friends keep telling me that DC has the highest rate of AIDS in the US. Thanks everyone.

Washington DC politics...Cuz I'm in DC you See

2009-08-18T19:16:00.000-07:00

A lot of people, me included find it absolutely abhorent that congress votes on bills they do not read. Sure some of them are long and boring but that's not a legitimate excuse. If it were, I would use it all the time! I would skip anything and everything I didn't find interesting. Sure my boss came in yesterday and asked me to review a contract but the details were just SOOOOO uninteresting so i skipped the T's and C's. In my perfect world I would get a raise for this...which is pretty much what congress is doing right now.

The scary part of this toxic coctail of passing bills into law that you don't read is that unlike blowing off your homework that only affects you, these bills affect everyone in one way or another. Taxes, social issues, public projects just to name a few. The Pateiot act is just one small example where it become common knowledge that the majority of congress, both the House and Senate did not read it. THE MAJORITY! Not just a fringe group of lazy ass congressmen, the majority had no idea what the details of the patriot act enacted.

Here's my solution, let's create an independent group of professors or analysts that create basic quizes on bills congress is going to vote on. I guarentee you this would either make the language of the bills easier to undertand and interpret or they would become much shorter (which in tern would help with transparency). A side effect would be that they might read the whole bill and possibly even make it harder to slip all of this pork spending into the bills. I don't think it's too much to ask a congressman to read what he is voting on. I'm pretty sure it's the main requirement of their job.

Headlines that are obvious

2009-08-18T19:05:00.000-07:00

Every once in a while i read a headline that is so obvious i can't believe 1. someone got paid to write the article and 2. an editor didn't suggest a different headline.

In a past post I brought up a cnn headline that told us that helmets help prevent head injuries while skiing.

Well, CNN did it again with a, "it's so obvious am i missing something headline." It read, "Jobless spike compounds foreclosure crisis" Besides this being the most obvious statement since...well, that helmets help protect the head.

The article went on to say, "The country's growing unemployment is overtaking subprime mortgages as the main driver of foreclosures, according to bankers and economists, making the crisis more complicated to unwind."

I would argue that housing prices declining in conjunction with the credit meltdown which led to people losing jobs has been the main reason we have massive forclosures. Subprime mortgages were a very small portion of all foreclosures in a nominal sense (i think and will look that one up later). What i do know is a fact is that people were defaulting on their loans long before the interest rates on the loans adjusted (not sure of the connection there but felt like adding it).

2009-08-16T12:18:00.000-07:00

Q: How does a lawyer say "Fuck you"?

A: Trust me.

Movers say it the same way.

The Adventure in DC begins...Literally

2009-08-15T11:03:00.000-07:00

I find myself at a crossroads I’m sure I have been at before. The wrong decision will very likely lead me down a gauntlet of uncertainty while the other will bring me back to familiarity. Unfortunately this isn’t some metaphor for a life decision I need to make in my new home Washington DC. It’s as literal as it gets. I’m at the intersection Kalmorata place and Kalmorata Circle and have no clue how to get home. Throw in the fact that it’s 3:30 in the morning and I’m a little drunk and this is a less than pleasant situation. The iphone, often my savior in situations like this isn’t helping me at all. The directions tell me to go north for a mile and turn right but I have no clue which way is north, south, east or west! I’ve been walking in circles for close to an hour now, the bars long closed. I'm sweating and my feet hurt.

So here’s the interesting part of this story. As I mentioned earlier I’m sure I have been in this situation before. Am I having déjà vu? Is this a horrible flashback? I wish! It’s just that I have a horrible sense of direction and I have literally been in this exact situation before.

Less than a week after moving to Colorado for college I started walking from the main campus to my off campus dorm. Needless to say I got lost….real lost. At one point I ran across the freeway (real safe decision). In the far off distance I saw a blinking red light and was certain that it was on top of the building I was looking for. I walked for miles trying to get to this blinking red light. I started to doubt myself and for good reason because I was walking in the wrong direction. I had accepted the fact that I might need to just curl in a ball and pass out on the side of the street. There was a very real fear that a large animal would tear me to shreds….and then out of nowhere a creapy molester van rolled up and I made a very rash decision to flag it down. I asked for directions and the creeper inside obliged. I’m pretty sure I rolled into my dorm room at the crack of dawn; tired, sweating and exhausted.

Why did I just tell this story?

Well, the parallels to what happened last night are remarkable. I’m new to a city, moving here for school and less than a week into living here I got lost…REAL LOST. And here’s one of the most interesting parts. How did I eventually find my way home? I found a creepy car rolling through the street at 4:30 in the morning, flagged it down and asked him where Columbia street was. He pointed down the street not really speaking English and said, “you go, you go.” 15 minutes later I was standing outside of my apartment, once again exhausted, feet hurting, sweating and thankful I made it home. I couldn’t help but notice that as miserable as I was for the last couple hours wandering the streets I was also amused by the situation. I’ve said it before, good things happen to me and I’ll say it again. I had an amazing run in Colorado that included a great education and even better friends. It started with a little fear in a new and mysterious place and an adventure wandering the streets in the wee hours of the morning. I can only hope and truly believe that the same will happen here in DC which started with the same adventure wandering the strees in the wee hours of the morning in a new and mysterious place.

The Airport Experience and Rant...

2009-08-12T16:19:00.000-07:00

The Airport

Dogma:

LOKI

(looks around)

Now here's what I don't get about you: why do you

feel the need to come here all the time?

BARTLEBY

(off travelers)

I like to watch. This is humanity at it's best.

Look at them.

A reunited FAMILY share a group hug and move on, making way for two young LOVERS

to embrace and kiss passionately.

OC BARTLEBY

All that tension, all that anger and mistrust,

forgotten for one perfect moment when they come

off that plane. See those two? The guy doesn't

even know that the girl cheated on him while he

was away.

OC LOKI

She did?

Bartleby and Loki continue to watch the arrivals.

BARTLEBY

Uh-huh. Twice. But it doesn't matter at this

moment because they're both so relieved to be with

one another. I like that. I just wish they could

all feel that way more often.

LOKI

Maybe if someone gave them free bags of peanuts

more often they would. Now what was so friggin'

important that I had to miss cartoons this

morning? If it was to share in your half-assed

obsessions with Hallmark moments, I'm going to

slug you.

Doug’s version. While I am a big fan of the movie Dogma, especially how it manages the absurdity of religion with it being real (in the movie) I can’t relate to this scene in real life. Sure, I laughed as Damon and Affleck have this exchange but instead of compassion I see tension and screaming children along with an in person study of the obesity problem in America. Spending thousands of dollars on studies of whether America has an obesity problem is unnecessary, very unnecessary. Just go to the airport, sit on a plane, walk through any terminal in the U.S. and you will see people that make me (and hopefully you) cringe.

The people staring at me as I write this weigh a combined 1,453 pounds. Here’s the sad part, there’s only 4 people. I’m wondering which one will be sitting next to me on my flight from SLC to DC taking up more than there allotted space on my next flight. Sure, the airlines enacted a new policy forcing obese people to purchase an extra seat if they can’t keep themselves from oozing into the area I paid for but I’m pretty sure it’s never been enforced.

Unlike in Dogma where Afflec finds joy, peace and happiness in the airport, I find the it full of tension. Families fight as their departure time get’s closer and closer and they’re stuck in the security line. Children get antsy with anticipation of a vacation. Little do they know they will be stuck on a plane for 4 hours which feels like an eternity for any boy (trust me! It still feels like an eternity and I’m 25).

On the first leg of my journey to DC via Boise, ID to SLC I was lucky enough to sit next to some coked out aviator glasses wearing, non stop talking maniac (sure he wasn’t encroaching on my space but he made up for it through his incessant talking). I was forced to put on headphones mid sentence for him to get the clue that I was no longer interested in his white trash sister (how HE referred to her). But after learning that she lives in a trailer with 2 children from different guys and twins on the way, I’m pretty sure I could come to that same conclusion. Oh, and she receives food stamps…awesome! Icing on the cake for that winner of a woman and society. Everyone, pat yourself on the back for taking care of this woman and her family. We deserve a little positive reinforcement for what we DO for people sometimes instead of only hearing about what we are not doing.

Side note…staring at a young white kid with a baseball jersey that says “sacrifice” and a baseball cap with a giant money symbol in fake diamonds on the back. He’s sitting with his family; grandparents and all. My initial reaction is this, “Really? That’s what you decided to where today? Classy.”

Second side note…while staring at this family trying to figure them out the father started picked his nose. It makes more sense now.

Third side note…The SCL airport has more blond haired, blue-eyed people working at McDonalds than anywhere else in the world. Sweden might have more but I’ve never been there.

A woman with half her head shaved just walked by. I’m pretty sure she had a tattoo on her arm that said “Virgin” but it might have said “Vagina”. Awesome. can't really believe I wrote that but it's the truth and it made me laugh...

More to come later….

Ouch! Shots edition

2009-08-07T18:58:00.000-07:00

Ouch! Shots edition

I remember a time, back in the day when my mom would take me to the doctors office. A time when the major worry of the day was weather I would watch GI Joe or play Mario brothers. I still have a vivid memory (much more like a horrible nightmare) of going to the doctor and fearing, absolutely fearing that I would need a shot. The fear started as soon as we got into the car. I would ask my mom if I needed to get a shot and she would always assure me that they wouldn't but even at that age I knew she was full of shit.

The wait in the doctors office was the worst! I would envision the doctor and three nurses walking through the door with a foot long needles. The nurses were there for the sole purpose of holding me down as I kicked and screamed. I remember telling my mom that the reason there were metal bars on the outside of the window was to prevent kids like me from trying to escape (there really were metal bars on the windows)! If you couldn't tell by now, I really, really didn't like going to the doctor. In the end I would take the shot without much fuss but it was the anticipation that did me in each and every time. Just thinking about a shot, the long thin needle slowly passing through the skin sends a shiver up my spine. I get clammy, uncomfortable, squirmy, irritable.

The fear should have subsided by the time I was 10 or maybe even 13 (when I had my bar mitzvah and officially became a man. Sorry I had to write that, it made me chuckle). Well it didn't. Before college I needed vaccines. The standards, Hep A, Hep B, meningitis and Tb. I tried to procrastinate getting the shots but it only made it worse as friends kept telling me about how big the needles were. Throw in the fact that you needed 3 Hep B and 2 Hep A shots and I thought I was going to die. I remember thinking that I would gladly give up a small toe instead of getting these shots. In the end I came up with what I thought was a genius plan. I decided that I would procrastinate long enough so that I could only get a couple of the shots and then hope the school, my mom and the doctor would forget that I needed the rest. Well ladies and gentlemen, IT WORKED, kind of.

I made it through college completely forgetting that I escaped what I thought was certain death via vaccine which is ironic because the vaccine is meant to save you. I'm about to head back to school and the dreaded pink slip indicating what vaccines I need showed up at my door. Once again I ignored it. Then the email came. I ignored it too. Then another came...and I broke down.

I went to the doctor today and got the final Hep A and B shots along with a TB test. I rolled up my sleeve and turned my head. I told the doctor that I didn't even want to see the needles, "JUST STICK ME DOC.!" and she did. I barely felt a thing.

So, here's the moral of the story (besides me just liking to write). If you need a shot and get petrified like I do, simply turn your head and never, NEVER look at the needle.

Too much information?

2009-08-07T17:11:00.000-07:00

All right internet, you win. and i'm not very happy about it. Just the other day i claimed that I could find everything and anything on the internet. I made the bold claim that there is a bigger cultural gap between my generation and my parents generation because my generation will be connected to the world and technology forever, continuously learning about new technology through the internet. I made the point (and actually think it's a good one) that the hierarchy of knowledge has somewhat flattened. What do i mean by this? I'm talking about the fact that previous generations had to learn everything from those that did it before them and how was this information passes on? through interaction and communication. Nowaday, if i don't know how to do something i can bypass the older generation and simply look up the answer on the internet. In fact, i will probably get a better answer than if i had asked the older know it all who in reality has been doing it ineficiantly for over 29+ years.

BUT TODAY WAS DIFFERENT

This all started with a blog post and it will end in another post (this one). I wanted to include a cartoon picture on the post about Bing that had two guys looking at a computer searching "bing" into a google search bar. The comment below said, "Google isn't Too Worried about Bing" or something to that effect. What bothers me most is that the cartoon was actually much funnier than that. So for the last 3 hours and I am not exagerating, I have been scouring the internet looking for this stupid cartoon. I watched an entire movie with my laptop on my lap typing in keywords into google AND bing. I looked over the last 150 blog posts on Ritholtz.com where I have a vague memory of seeing the cartoon, and still, no luck. I'm beginging to think that I will never find this damn cartoon. Was it a figmant of my imagination? Probably not...so then where is it.

IS THERE TOO MUCH INFORMATION?

The answer is no and here is why. For all of the frustrations I am having trying to find a specific cartoon, it's my fault that I can't find it. I'm clearly not using the right search words. And furthermore, if i wasn't looking for this specific cartoon I could have stopped hours ago. I mean, within the first couple of minutes i found plenty of cartoons...JUST NOT THE ONE I WAS LOOKING FOR. Furthermore, over the hours of searching I probably found enough information to write an entire, well thought out report on the algorithms and comparisons of google and bing which is the real purpose of the internet...information.

The Jewish Triathalon

2009-08-07T12:31:00.000-07:00

Shit...Shower...Shave...

Props to a Boulder Sandwich Shop

2009-08-07T09:13:00.000-07:00

A couple years ago I was introduced to Jimmy and Drew's in Boulder. For years I longed for a real Jewish deli in Boulder, CO where I could get a corned beef sandwich the way it should be made, (by a Jew! j/k) What I really mean is, corned beef piled high (minimum 2.5 inches of meet) with swiss cheese on Rye bread and mustard. That's it. End of story.

So, when a couple friends heard about this little sandwich shop in Esquire magazine that rated one of it's sandwiches one of the best in the country I couldn't wait to try. Jimmy and Drew's . And since Jimmy and Drew's is half owned by a Jew I figured it might not be half bad (or however that saying goes...).

The sandwich that put it on the map is "Jimmy's Favorite." A classic pastrami sandwich piled high. The wrinkle? It replaces the rye bread with latkes (potato pancakes for all you gentiles out there). The result? let's just say I gained about 10 pounds.

Well, the shop is now getting some more props. The sandwich made it onto a list Seven of the Fattiest Sandwiches in the US put together by the people at Divine Caroline - the list for your viewing pleasure.

But think about this for a second, is it any shock that one of the best sandwiches in the US is also one of the worst for you? NOT AT ALL.

Microsoft just Doesn't GET IT

2009-08-06T19:34:00.000-07:00

In an attempt to be "cool" and promote it's new web search engine Microsoft announced a contest to create a song representing the new search engine. With most things Microsoft does these days it's a buck short and a day late (not sure that fits but i'm going with it).

Microsoft jumped on the let the people vote or submit shit because how can the majority of people ALL be wrong? Well my friends, they so often are and here is a great example of it.

So instead of letting the product stand on it's own they released this,

Fucking Fannie

2009-08-06T19:14:00.001-07:00

Does anyone else love this alliteration as much as I do? FUCKING FANNIE! It just rolls off the tongue. Equally as fun is Fucking Freddie but unfortunately it's not in the news today.

Fannie Mae is using some of the credit line the treasury offered it (i mean, why not it's there right?). I mean don't worry, the fact that they lost 14.8 billion in Q2 ' 09shouldn't come as much of a surprise to anyone. In the last 2 years they have lost over 100 BILLION dollars. And since billion is the new million it doesn't seem like that big of a number. I mean, it's just a couple extra zero's.

14,800,000,000 is 14.8 billion and 14,800,000 is 14.8 million. (I guess when it's written out it really is bigger ~ literally bigger.

So the next time someone tries telling you that the financial problems are behind us question them. Is it really over or do we just have the credit lines and tools in place to deal with the mind blowing losses. When the government no longer needs to hand out billion dollar checks then, maybe then will I consider this mess over.

A Safe Place?

2009-08-06T19:04:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure what it says about DC that there is an iphone app that rates how safe of a neighborhood you are in. It's called "areyousafe" and its very cartoony look and feel can make even the most dangerous drunken walks home fun! It's a pretty great idea if you just moved or are visiting a city.

http://areyousafedc.com/

I find it interesting that more people tell me where NOT to go in DC as apposed to where TO go. Apparently the capitol hill area is nice and safe until you go one too many blocks east and then you WILL die. J/K, i think. I thought it would add some intensity to this post.

Feels good to be writing again~!

Lost Generation ... Really? (interesting)

2009-08-06T18:22:00.000-07:00

Natural Resources

2009-06-13T11:10:00.000-07:00

While a country cannot succeed in the long run with the majority of their GDP coming from non-renewable resources it can certainly create an imense amount of wealth in the short term. Look at the MIDDLE EAST. A hundred years ago it was primarily a dessert with some nomadic tribes and now it's pumping out the majority of the worlds oil and swimming in US dollars. While unsustainable, it looks pretty fun in the short term. Well, enough banter...here's a great visual of the world natural resources: both non and renewable resources.

http://www.mint.com/blog/uncategorized/mint-map-the-worlds-resources-by-country/

Award Winning Idea? I think SO!

2009-05-29T09:12:00.000-07:00

How are Americans still going to bed hungry?

A Grilled Stuffed Chicken Burrito is 89 freaking cents! Sure it's not the most nutritious or healthy but it's 89 cents and FOOD!!! Plus with all of the calories and a fair amount of protein, it should keep you hungry for hours. And, if you really wanted to splurge you could get a side dish of nachos for 69 cents. If you want to get totally funky with your bad self you could upgrade the nachos to Triple Layer Nachos for a whopping 10 more cents or the Nachos Supreme for...wait for it...20 more!!!!! I'm not trying to be completely insensitive to people's struggles but how are there still people going hungry in the US? I just created a comprehensive way to cure hunger in the US...just repeat the Taco Bell bonanza 3 times a day. Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner; ALL TACO BELL BABY!

If Taco Bell is selling a huge burrito for 89 cents, what does it cost them? 40 cents? 50 cents?

Grilled Stuffed Chicken Burrito

Nutrition Facts
Serving Size: 325g

Amount per Serving

Calories 640

Calories from Fat 207

% Daily Value *

Total Fat 23g

35%

Saturated Fat 7g

35%

Trans Fat 0.5g

Cholesterol 65mg

22%

Sodium 2160mg

90%

Total Carbohydrate 73g

24%

Dietary Fiber 7g

28%

Sugars 6g

Protein 34g

68%

Vitamin A	10%
Vitamin C	8%
Calcium	30%
Iron	35%

Est. Percent of Calories from:

Fat 32.3% Carbs 45.6%

Protein 21.2%

Autism - "In My Language" and The Human Camera

2009-05-28T10:54:00.000-07:00

One of the top stories on digg today is about an autistic girl who sings the national anthem. It reminded me of this video I watched years ago that was incredibly fascinating, and insightful into the world of autism. The first half of the video is in "her own language" and the second half, 3:30 mark, is her explaining in english what is going on.

It took me a long time to find the video so i'm posting it...

Here's another video I watched years ago that's amazing. He's called the human camera.

Does He Look Like a Bitch

2009-05-28T10:10:00.000-07:00

I used to love Guess Who and still Love Pulp Fiction. Great Mashup!

Spelling Bee

2009-05-28T09:48:00.000-07:00

The National Scripts Spelling Bee is one of the greatest sporting events of the year. It pits brains and...well that's pretty much it. Brains vs. brains. I am completely enamored by the event mostly because I can't spell worth a dam (that's a spelling joke). The stress these kids go through as they stand on national television alone, just them and a panel of supposedly super smart adults who have the spelling of the word in front of them so it's easy to look smart, would make the common person crap their pants. It's surprising how many of the contestants left are of Indian descent. Here's an example of one of their names: Mouctika Paluri.

Here's a GREAT word i just learned.

hebdomadally: occurring every week

without missing a week; "she visited her aunt weekly"

On a related note, what's the deal with the word Biweekly? It has 2 definitions which appear to be in contrast with each other.

- Occurring twice a week

- Occurring once every two weeks

Housing Sales Up or Down?

2009-05-28T09:31:00.000-07:00

I have two points to make about last months new housing sales reported today.

1. When housing sales for the month of April rose .3 percent with a +/- margin of error of 14.5 percent how can anyone use the number as a positive or a negative number. It is statistically irrelevant. "Margin of Error" is exactly that, the margin of error.

2. Sure, March to April sales have increased .3 percent (bullshit number) but April 2008 to 2009 sales have plummeted 34 percent +/- 11 percent (making the 34 percent statistically significant because even with the margin of error it's still a positive number). I woke up today to a cnn.com headline with encouraging news, HOME SALES RISE. They smartly removed the article shortly thereafter. I wonder what their editor does because they do this every month when the housing reports come out.

GM is Worthless

2009-05-27T13:42:00.000-07:00

You should all be thrilled with this investment you made over the last couple months. You have invested close to 20 billion dollars, that's 20,000,000,000 (yep that's 10 zero's you see there) in a company that had close to no chance of surviving from the start. Well, the inevitable is here, well almost here. On Monday GM will most likely officially file for bankruptcy.

I asked a very smart person today why GM's stock prices isn't $0?

His response: "Stupidity (and the certificates make good wallpaper, which usually retails for about $10 per foot)."

I had to share.

Where did Stupid Videos go before YouTube

2009-05-22T16:41:00.000-07:00

I read yesterday that there are 20 hours of video uploaded to YouTube EVERY MINUTE! Just think about that for a second. Every minute of every day people are uploading everything from this awesome video,

To this...

As if there was any chance a human could beat a freaking BEAR! The bear doesn't even know he's in a challenge but then again, IT"S A FUCKING BEAR! Pay close attention to the commentators, absolultely hilarious! "He's an eating machine!"

Oil at 60

2009-05-22T10:27:00.000-07:00

Just heard a great point on CNBC. Unfortunately, I don't know who made the comment but this was the gist of it...

We are arguably in the worst recession since WWII and oil is still trading at 60 dollars a barrel. I have a hard time seeing demand for oil lower than it is right now again in my lifetime. It just shows how susceptible we are to huge swings in oil pricing if supply were cut or we entered a geo political controversy.

Living with the Enemy

2009-05-22T10:07:00.000-07:00

The Lakers blew a nice first half lead and went back to their dysfunctional ways down the stretch. As a result the Lakers lost and the Denver Nuggets fans are getting cocky. I'm surrounded by these assholes...Come on Lakers, step it up!!!!

Where this started...

2009-05-21T23:31:00.000-07:00

The original reason I started this blog was to create a place to write down some of the crazy dreams I have...Well, if you haven't noticed it sort of transformed into something different. Well, here's a dream I had last night.

Once upon a time there was a guy named Doug. He loved to play games and his favorite game was monopoly. This is how they all start...

It was a cold windy day in Denver. It's an ominous sunset and for some reason i'm in a shopping mall parking lot with a security guard, two adults, and a very attractive chick (shocking right?). As i'm about to park I hear over the radio an emergency warning of an impending tornado. Before I have time to react I can see it forming. The winds start swirling no more than 100 yards away. The clouds start to come together and there's lightning flashing and thunder booming towards the center. In the background there is a shockingly beautiful sunset but there's no time to stand around. I yell at the rest of the group to run for shelter. Because this is a dream there's a stand alone 2 story bathroom in the middle of the parking lot. I kick down the door and we enter. We are all looking for a place to hide knowing that if we don't find a better shelter we are all doomed. I find a door that leads to a basement and call the others. As i hold the door open the tornado approaches at a shockingly fast speed. The door slams, and we hold on for dear life. Legs and arms braced against the walls. The roof goes first. Then the entire fist floor is lifted off the ground. I look up and can see up the spiral of this giant tornado and it's amazing. It's twirling in slow motion as if it's harmless but i know better. Others are screaming but I'm calm as could be. As quickly as it started it ends. Instead of being thankful I'm alive, I immediately look at the innocent security guard and start yelling at him. In hindsight I realize he's an innocent bystander but in my dream I can't believe his incompetence. I can vividly remember saying, "why don't you know how many people were in the mall!" As if it would be his job to record that...I berate him for an extended period of time. I'm concerned that people were swept away in the tornado. Gone, never to be seen again...Then I wake up...

Here's the craziest part. I've never seen a tornado. Also, why was I so mean to this guy?

Billion = Million

2009-05-21T23:14:00.000-07:00

It's like we all forgot how to spell million...

The craziest part is that the "m" key is easier to hit than the "b" key...

Our government refuses to hand out anything less than a couple billion these days. Why aren't we outraged that the government gets to choose what industries to bail out?

This is from the NYT as of February 4, 2009. Notice all of the Trillions and billions floating around...

February 4, 2009

Adding Up the Government’s Total Bailout Tab

Beyond the $700 billion bailout known as TARP, which has been used to prop up banks and car companies, the government has created an array of other programs to provide support to the struggling financial system. Through April 30, the government has made commitments of about $12.2 trillion and spent $2.5 trillion — but also has collected more than $10 billion in dividends and fees. Here is an overview, organized by the role the government has assumed in each case.

THE GOVERNMENT AS INVESTOR

$9.0 trillion

SPENT: $1.6 TRILLION

Includes direct investments in financial institutions, purchases of high-grade corporate debt and purchases of mortgage-backed securities issued by Fannie Mae, Freddie Mac and Ginnie Mae.

THE GOVERNMENT AS INSURER

$1.7 trillion

SPENT: $330 BILLION

Includes insuring debt issued by financial institutions and guaranteeing poorly performing assets owned by banks and Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac.

THE GOVERNMENT AS LENDER

$1.4 trillion

SPENT: $528 BILLION

A significant expansion of the government's traditional overnight lending to banks, including extending terms to as many as 90 days and allowing borrowing by other financial institutions.

Money market fundsThe Treasury originally guaranteed these accounts up to $50 billion, but the program has been extended by the Fed, which has in a few cases had to step in to buy illiquid assets of some funds to help them meet obligations. The Treasury has received $814 million in fees from participating mutual funds. Some 1,900 funds are participating.	Committed: $3 trillion Spent: $4 billion
Commercial paperThe Federal Reserve has become the buyer of last resort in the $1.6 trillion commercial paper market.	$1.6 trillion $178 billion
Federal Home Loan Bank securitiesThe Treasury and the Federal Reserve have begun buying debt and mortgage-backed securities from Fannie Mae, Freddie Mac and Ginnie Mae.	$1.5 trillion $641 billion
Term Asset-Backed Securities Loan Facility (TALF)This program, launched on March 3, will provide loans and accept securities backed by consumer and small-business loans as collateral. Note: $100 billion of the total amount committed comes from the Troubled Asset Relief Program.	$900 billion $5 billion
Public-private investment fundThe Treasury announced details of this program on March 23. The government will seek private investors and use a combination of private and public money to buy nonperforming assets from banks. Note: $100 billion of the total amount committed comes from the Troubled Asset Relief Program.	up to $900 billion $0 billion
Troubled Asset Relief Program (TARP) \| See TARP recipients »In return for bailout cash, the Treasury now owns stock in hundreds of banks, General Motors, Chrysler and the insurer A.I.G. The largest recipients are A.I.G. ($70 billion), Bank of America ($45 billion) and Citigroup ($45 billion cash and $5 billion in support of a loan guarantee). The investments are in the form of preferred stock that pays quarterly dividends, which to date total $2.5 billion.	$700 billion $645 billion
Fannie Mae/Freddie MacThe companies were put into conservatorship and the Treasury initally pledged up to $200 billion to cover their losses. Freddie Mac has now received almost $45 billion and Fannie Mae $15 billion.	$400 billion $60 billion
A.I.G.The Federal Reserve has provided seed money to create investment vehicles to buy, hold and possibly dispose of bad securities held or insured by A.I.G.	$53 billion $42 billion
Bear StearnsThe Federal Reserve bought distressed assets from Bear Stearns to facilitate its sale to JPMorgan Chase.	$29 billion $29 billion
Reserve U.S. Government FundDespite the name, this was a private fund, not part of the government. It was the first big money market fund to experience liquidity problems, and the Treasury eventually bought some high-quality assets to help the fund unwind.	$4 billion $2 billion

GMAC and the Billions!

2009-05-21T23:04:00.001-07:00

The private sector determined long ago that there aren't many people they are willing to make loans to. This is especially true when it came to car loans. In my opinion, this is one of the biggest reasons why US car sales didn't just drop, they plummeted at unprecedented levels. You've seen the spreadsheets posted...all car companies fell but US companies took the cake. Chrysler and GM sales fell close to 50 percent month over month for the last couple quarters. So, based on this logic the government is loaning GMAC another 7.5 billion so they can make loans to potential car buyers. As if the original 6 billion wasn't enough.

"The investment includes $4 billion for GMAC to originate loans to Chrysler buyers and sellers, the Treasury said yesterday in a statement. The remaining $3.5 billion will help Detroit-based GMAC meet capital needs that resulted from the government stress tests. The Treasury said it expects to hold a 35.4 percent common equity interest in the company"

So after the private sector has determined that the loans are too risky to make...if they weren't they themselves would make them...the government will make them. And lets not forget that the government is playing with OUR money. When will we get fed up?

By 2 interesting ideas I mean FUCK THE EMERGENCY SYSTEM!!!

2009-05-19T02:19:00.000-07:00

It turns out you cant change the channel when there's an EMERGENCY ALERT SYSTEM. WHAT happens when the system is broken? There's an emergency, i can't change the channel when there's a bullshit emergency warning!?!?!??! I should get an hour of my tv watching enjoyment back from the cable company!!!!!!!! 3 WARNINGS DURING THIS 2 sec POST!!!!! Name another business that could pull a bullshit move like this with no repercussions?

ALL I WANT TO DO IS CHANGE THE CHANNEL!!!!! I wish i was joking but i'm not...IT"s STILL ON!!!!!!

2 interesting ideas

2009-05-19T01:57:00.000-07:00

1. Obviously it has been done but maybe they're onto something. I'm wondering if there is a trend, a long term trend beyond this current recession with Japans or any other major stock exchange. Does one react to the other (Japans is much more likely than the US)?

2. it's too late...I guess i forgot the other idea

3. A psycho chick at the bar tried to get her boyfriend to kick my ass tonight. Totally normal... I've never really seen this before. She interrupted a conversation i was having with a friend, then challenged my football knowledge. As if that wasn't enough for me to lose it, which i didn't...she then proceded to tell me that her dad was some hot shit...and by that she said her dad lived down the street from Al Davis (Raiders Owner). I was polite and said; get this...Awesome, that's pretty cool. She proceeded to get aggresive and yell, "Do you know Dave, Do you know Mike, Do you know Steve?" All I could say to that was, No...

The emergency Alert system is going of every 30 seconds...very, very, very annoying...

So, what happens next at the bar? Oh yes, her boyfriend goes ballistic and wants to kill, and i don't use kill lightly, me and my friend. He grows to a giant, steroided out beast and it takes the bar tender, this random and very nice dude next to me and the bouncer to hold him back and push this crazy chick away...oh my god, the emergency alert is going off again!!!!!

This ends with everyone telling us we should leave the bar immediately...ITS GOING OFF AGAIN! CLASSIC GOV. B.S. THEY CANT DO ANYTHING RIGHT!!!!!!!!! HOW IS THE EMERGENCY ALERT SYSTEM THIS FUCKED UP, IMAGINE A REAL EMERGENCY!!!!!! PANIC, PANIC, PANIC!!!!! HALD OF A COMMERCIAL AND THE EAR PIERCING WARNING IS BACK! ANYONE EVER NOTICE...IT"S BACK BEFORE I COULD FINISH BITCHING ABOUT THE LAST TIME IT INTERUPTED THE SHOW... FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS IS BS NOT ENOUGH TIME TO VENT BEFORE PIERCING OLDSCHOOL TYPING! WHY IS AN EMERGENCY SYSTEM REALLY STILL TYPING SHIT WITH A TYPEWRITER?!?!?! IT's BACK!!!!!!! what was i even talking about?

So, i was about to be completely destroyed by a giant dude because his girlfriend was crazy...I think they should procreate. procreate to the x'th degree. Have 10 children and raise them in your physcho house. ANOTHER EMERGENCY ANOUNCEMENT!!!!!!!!

Upcoming posts...

1. Road Rage

2. My walk home...it only took 1.4 hours

3. Lakers are the best team ever and commentators are paid to dispute

4. Lowe's should go out of buisiness....when was the last time you were in a Lowes? I mean really, when? I'm pretty sure it was never!

5. MORE EMERENCY ALERT SYSTEMS!!!!!!!

6. DID I HAVE 4+ DRINKS TONIGHT, YES!

Is Obama getting No Respect?

2009-05-14T03:16:00.000-07:00

And after some of his regulatory measures i'm not sure he deserves any...

Why not

2009-05-14T02:56:00.000-07:00

I'm going to track Microsoft because I made a claim and I might as well stick with it...

I called it at 19.50 and it's at 19.75

Here's another I liked a long time ago, Canadian Natural Resources. If you believe oil will return to the 80+ days then love this stock. I was about to explain how they extract oil from Canadian shale but realized it's 4:01 and Dane Cook just started yelling at me on TV. It's time to go to bed, I hate this guy. Maybe Microsoft isn't the best choice...

Jesus in Jeans

2009-05-13T13:51:00.000-07:00

If there was a church i could possibly get behind this would be it because they have a sense of humor. They commissioned a statue depicting Jesus in modern times. His face is smiling, which i still find a little puzzling considering he's pretty much still positioned as if he was on a crucifix. Here's the article:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/5318718/Jesus-in-jeans-sculpture-unveiled.html

Quote of the Day

2009-05-13T13:47:00.000-07:00

Quote of the day via Google:

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime. Teach a man to create an artificial shortage of fish and he will eat steak.
- Jay Leno

Liftoff

2009-05-13T09:54:00.001-07:00

Infrared photo of the Atlantis space-shuttle launch yesterday via Gawker.

P.S. I would love to go to outer space and look at the earth. Come on Richard Branson, make it affordable already!

Lakers Dominate!

2009-05-13T09:32:00.000-07:00

Suck it Houston!

The Lakers played as a team last night and put a thorough beat down on the Houston Rockets. It was a statement game, the first of their playoff run. As a Laker fan it was needed. If the Lakers are to succeed in their goal to not only make the finals but win the whole thing they will need to continue their team play and the bench will need to continue the success they had yesterday.

Phil Jackson, the Zen Master should tell the Lakers to forget everything that has happened in the playoffs so far. He should emphasize that the playoffs start NOW and keep the winning ways going. Besides, it's the refs that will decide the champion right?

I would rather see the Lakers lose to Houston than the Nuggets. Plain and simple.

Car Dealers in Washington

2009-05-13T08:57:00.000-07:00

It's never easy when you lose your job and there are millions dealing with it every day. There are terribly sad stories being reported about two income families that now have no income and no savings. It's sad, it's terrible, it's a nightmare for them as their credit card debt raises month after month with no end in sight. It's even tougher when the family industry is coming to an end. One of the stories of the day are the auto dealers in Washington petitioning the government to stop GM and Chrysler dealership closures. Like I said above, it's terribly sad but what is the government supposed to do about it? When did we become one giant welfare state. When people no longer want to buy a product, the people who sell it should go out of business!

GM Bankruptcy, the Executives think So

2009-05-12T10:49:00.001-07:00

GM top executives sold almost all of their stock in the company...can you say bankrupt GM? It's now trading at a 76 year low.

Random Stock Pick

2009-05-12T10:35:00.000-07:00

Here's a stock pick right out of left field (i liked that for some reason). I was laying in bed last night when a light bulb went off in my head. Invest in Microsoft. Vista was a nightmare, the economy is a nightmare, technology is getting crushed today. With this being said, almost all businesses are still using Microsoft products and they will be forced to upgrade to Windows 7. Microsoft revenue was hurt this year by companies holding out on their upgrade because Vista was awful but I'm reading the opposite of Windows 7. The tech blogs are saying it's reliable, clean, secure and fast. Plus, while it might seem like Apple is going to destroy Microsoft, that just isn't the case. As the world, and particularly underdeveloped countries adopt computers they use PC's and Microsoft products, not Apple products. Comments and arguments are welcome.

Open:	19.50		Mkt Cap:	176.30B		P/E:	11.41		Dividend:	0.13
	High:	19.83		52Wk High:	30.53		F P/E:	-		Yield:	2.62
	Low:	19.32		52Wk Low:	14.87		Beta:	1.02		Shares:	8.90B
	Volume:	34.54M		Avg Vol:	71.62M		EPS:	1.74		Inst. Own:	60%

Newspapers

2009-05-12T10:08:00.001-07:00

I'm confident that there's a way for newspapers to make money and survive. In fact, this financial apocalypse might be the only thing that will save them. You might be saying, "Are you nuts?" Well, here's my thought. The Newspaper industry is one of the oldest in the world and as a result it doesn't adapt to change quickly. Newspapers were supposed to die when the radio was invented and again when televisions entered every house but it didn't. I believe the entire industry became complacent. The newspaper companies became huge and with all huge companies it takes them a long time to change course. The financial downturn may FORCE them to act quickly and think outside of the box or outright fail. The internet should be looked at not as a problem but as one of the biggest opportunities. It is now easier for them to reach people than ever before. My iphone allows me to have the newspaper at all times! Amazon just released a new bigger Kindle specifically for document and NEWSPAPER viewing! People are reading more than they have ever before (granted it's mostly trashy blogs like this) which is great. There is a need for quality, well thought out news and reporting. There is a need for non-breaking news stories. There is a need for newspapers that the blogger and independent reporter can't fill because they don't have the recourses a big company offers.

One of the newspaper owners put it very well (I'm not sure who it was): The newspaper companies are NEWS companies and not paper distribution companies.

This is exactly correct! Figure out how to make money distributing quality, accurate news. The medium doesn't matter.

While I'm not a very big fan of Mark Cuban he did write a decent article about how he would save the newspaper industry. Here's the link...

http://blogmaverick.com/2009/04/26/1269/

The Chrysler Nightmare We Paid For

2009-05-12T09:58:00.000-07:00

New reports and documents show that Chrysler was in trouble, deep deep trouble for not just the last couple months but for years. Executives have admitted that they have tried selling the company for at least 2 years and found only 1 potential buyer...Fiat. The mighty and resilient Fiat was the only company? That's a scary thought. Now, why when the world saw no potential in saving Chrysler did our government and in turn you and me think it was a good idea to loan Chrysler billions of dollars when bankruptcy was inevitable? Why when almost every company in the world felt an investment in Chrysler was a bad idea did the government take a stake in the company?

The answer is POLITICS, POLITICS, POLITICS! Our politicians don't always make decisions in our best interest and this is a prime example. Would anyone in their right mind loan you 10 dollars and only expect 6 dollars back? Well, I guess I could see it if you charged a massive interest rate for the risk you're undertaking but that isn't the case here at all. In fact, the government's original loan to Chrysler was converted to equity...Awesome!

Let's learn from the Chrysler debacle and force GM into bankruptcy NOW. In the end, it's probably in their best interest and certainly the American publics best interest.

Add it to the List

2009-05-11T20:32:00.000-07:00

Let's add one more thing for Obama to do tomorrow; I want him to emphatically declare that the US does not condone torture! We don't need to debate it's effectiveness (even though most studies show that it is ineffective). It's a matter of principle. The US as a whole is better than that. We are looked at by the world for guidance. We are outraged when other countries torture so how can we even think that it's acceptable for us. Results or Not.

And yes, water boarding is torture.

Here's an interesting article about the once classified report by the CIA's Internal General. Very fascinating stuff.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/05/11/ig-report-waterboarding-w_n_201733.html

It's a Contusion! RUN!!!!"

2009-05-11T16:15:00.000-07:00

We hear over and over again on injury reports that someone has a contusion. They make it sound like the person is about to lose a limb or even life threatening.

"Lakers Odom has back contusion, is day to day" Thanks espn for scaring Laker fans all over the world.

The headline should read...

"After Odom fell he can be seen telling a teammate that he's O.K. There's no chance that a fucking bruise will keep him out of a playoff game!" Why do we sensationalize everything? A contusion is a fancy doctor word for bruise. Yes, the same kind of injury you get when your friend gives you a dead leg or you accidentally hit your shin on the bed frame. It's a bruise but you don't have million dollar doctors diagnosing it.

Free Movie Websites

2009-05-11T13:46:00.000-07:00

Here's a link to an article that has lot's of links to places to watch free movies (did you get that?)

http://www.walletpop.com/blog/2009/05/08/best-sites-online-to-watch-movies-for-free/

Just do it Already!

2009-05-11T10:10:00.000-07:00

There's a couple things I think the president should wake up tomorrow and change. These things don't need a drawn out debate in congress or a fight between two commentators on Fox News. I want the president to actually do what is right and not care about the political damage that "might" come from it.

I want Obama's day to begin with the legalization of gay marriage. It's rediculous that there's even a debate still raging in this country over it. Why should the government prevent two adults from marrying? It's pretty much as simple as that. We as Americans should be a little embarrassed that we ever had slaves, didn't allow women to vote didn't allow black people to vote AND didn't allow gay people to marry. I challenge you to come up with a single good reason...and arguing that it will lead to people fucking goats isn't a legitimate argument.

Next, probably around 10 in the morning I want Obama to legalize marijuana. It's a fairly harmless drug with fewer side effects and dangers than alcohol. Tell me the last time two stoned people were in a street fight! Let's tax and regulate the distributation of marijuana just like we do with cigarettes. Another reason this needs to be done is that our jails should be filled with dangerous criminals and not drug addicts.

Lastly and possibly the most radical decision of his day is to declare our education system a national emergency and dedicate the hundreds of billions of dollars necessary to rethink and rebuild our education system. When the financial system broke we threw money at it; over a trillion dollars! Why not make the same commitment to our education system. I want Obama to say that it's time we changed the public school system to include 2 years of college. No Child Left Behind was a joke. A good idea poorly executed. Let's not give up let's fix it. I'll probably make this an entire rant in the next couple days...

Pet Peeve

2009-05-10T17:10:00.000-07:00

The volume of commercials needs to be the same as the t.v. show i'm watching! There's nothing worse than having to adjust the volume every commercial.

Good 'ol Dilbert

2009-05-06T11:49:00.001-07:00

What moves the Market?

2009-05-06T10:10:00.000-07:00

Is it just me or is the current bull market based on "not as bad as expected" results? If you really look at home sales numbers or unemployment numbers they are still deteriorating, just at a slightly slower rate. The argument is that it's a sign of the economies eventual recovery but i'm not sure I'm on board.

With this logic, now would be a great time to invest in AIG. They posted a staggering 62 billion dollar quarterly loss last quarter and only posted a 5 billion dollar loss this quarter. WOW! That's an amazing recovery, right? What are you waiting for, they are only 5 billion dollars away from making money again...

The Messy House

2009-05-06T10:05:00.000-07:00

How does a house go from clean to a disaster in a single day?

1. Invite some friends over for a sports game (or Cinco de Mayo)

2. Realize your out of Paper Towels and Trash Bags and decide it's too late to run to the market.

3. Consume beer and tell yourself you will deal with it later

4. Wake up the next day and your house will be a mess.

Dodge Viper's Future?

2009-05-05T14:17:00.000-07:00

Chrysler has been trying to sell the Dodge Viper line for some time now. I'm wondering what will happen to one of my favorite cars once the merger between Fiat, the Canadian government and the US government is completed. Yes, you read that correctly; 2 governments and FIAT will try to run a company. Try to remember the last time you even considered buying a Fiat? And then tell me the last time the government efficiently and cost effectively ran ANYTHING. I'm talking about the same institution that spends 12 bucks for a stapler and thinks they're getting a good deal. If you couldn't tell, I'm ecstatic about the US government becoming part owners of private institutions. The pride of our capitalistic society is quickly eroding. The same capitalistic society I was told helped defeat the Russians and Communism. But, long story short my beloved Dodge Viper might disappear. The car that originally shoved a giant truck engine into a light weight sports car all in an effort to go ridiculously and unnecessarily fast without thinking about braking or turning. So, if the dam Italians, US Gov. and Canadian Gov. decide to discontinue one of the coolest cars America has ever produced, I say this ...FUCK YOU!