Heading Home with a layover - SLC to Memphis

I find airports fascinating in much the same way I enjoy sitting in coffee shops.  Lets call it the joy of “people watching” with a twist.  Airports are a concentrated arena of emotions ranging from excitement to outright anger.  I believe the lack of control puts people on edge.    Some will be happy while others will be stressed.  Some will be ancy with excitement while others will be tired from a long business trip.  It is all laid out there in front of you if you take the time to look.  People will react differently to flight delays.  Some start to complain to strangers sitting next to them while others simply groan.  But in the end, nothing will make a difference. So… Sit back, relax, and enjoy the ride. 

There are forced interactions when you fly.  Tell me the last time you sat in a 24 inch seat for hours on end next to a complete stranger (for hundreds of dollars).  I had the joy of sitting next to quite the pair today on leg two of a three flight day.  I have the uncanny ability to notice the last person I want to be seated next to and then by chance, luck or fate, be seated next to them.  At least this time I had the isle…or so I thought this would be a good thing. 

Cowboy hats, leopard print shirt, the stench of cigarettes, cowboy boots, black spandex pants that are three sizes too small and an oversized carry on bag that will never fit in an overhead bin.  Yep, that’s the couple I spotted while waiting for the flight to leave Salt Lake City on my way to DC via Memphis.  Moments after I get to my seat I am engrossed by this pseudo cowboy trying to cram his bag into the overhead bin directly over my head.  An unpleasant turn of my head places his crotch directly at eye level.  Fantastic. 

The plane is delayed at the gate with no air conditioning.  The temperature appears to be rising by the minute.   No worries, I will just roll up my sleeves.  A flight attendant assures us that we will be moving shortly….10 minutes pass, 20 minutes pass, sweat starts beading on my forehead…30 minutes pass…I begin to fear that the anti-perspirant I’m wearing will begin to fail with 8 more hours of traveling to go…40 minutes pass and the engines turn on and we begin to taxi to the runway. 

Shortly after takeoff I fall asleep.  I’m hoping to sleep for at least half of the 4 hour flight.  That was the plan.  25 minutes into the flight the lovely woman next to me jabs me in the ribs.  I’m startled but can’t quite figure out what it was.  Is there turbulence?  Am I still dreaming?  Boom, it happens again.  I open my eyes, still in a haze, and look to my right.  This beast of a woman is staring at me giving me a look as if I have been terribly rude.  Was I snoring?  Were my arms flailing in my sleep invading her precious space?  Nope.  She had to go to the bathroom. 

25 minutes into the flight…Who does that?  Especially when the person next to you is sleeping?

I am irritated, and begin observing how gross these two actually are.  Here are the notes I took on my iphone…unedited. 

• -       He’s chewing dip on a plane.  Is that allowed?  It shouldn’t be.  He’s spitting into a clear bottle.  Even grosser. 
• -       They order two glasses of wine and two bloody marries…at the same time. 
• -       She has leathery skin.  It reminds me of the old lady in the movie,  There’s Something About Mary.  Her voice sounds like that of someone that has smoked cigarettes for decades.  Her voice is manlier than the guy she is with. 
• -       Is she wearing a wig?
• -       She has man hands.  Why are they invading my space?  Good thing there is an armrest between us. 
• -       She spills her glass of wine on the floor while adding Pringles to a sandwich.  (yes you read that correctly)
• -       Maybe this isn’t the first drink of her day.
• -       He drinks his bloody marry our of a single bar straw (the small red ones).  For a guy that wears cowboy boots and a cowboy hat, this has to be the least manly way to drink a Bloody Marry.  

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Dam You Prohibition (No Taxation Without Representation)

Imagine living in a country without income taxes.  A place where you took home every cent of your hard earned salary.  That sounds crazy, right?  Sounds like something that could never exist in the US, right?  Well, it's the way things were before 1913.  And the cause of enacting an income tax?  PROHIBITION.  The crazy idea that didn't work very well in the early 1900's directly led to the income tax.  Prior to prohibition, 1/3 of all government revenue came from taxing alcohol sales.  Without it, the government needed another source and looked directly at the hard working citizens of the US.  What better way to ensure government revenue than to take the money directly out of your paycheck and then force people to file a tax return!  

A better tax policy would be a direct sales tax.  Taxation should be based on consumption and not on what you earn.  Why should the government be entitled to a portion of my hard work?  Well, it originally wasn't.  But I digress....

After nearly 100 years of income taxes we have come to accept the current policy.  The founding fathers are shaking their heads.  After all, disagreements about taxation helped bring upon the revolutionary war.  ("No Taxation Without Representation", remembered that one from elementary school)  As it stands now, taxation changes require congressional approval by a majority.  Also, as it stands we have a progressive tax policy where the tax rate increases as the taxable income increases.  The top ten percent of wage earners currently pay close to 65% of all income taxes.  

What happens when the majority realizes that they have the power to take advantage of the financially empowered minority?  You already see glimpses of this happening in California where initiatives are put on ballots for funding special interest projects that are funded entirely by extra charges to the top tax brackets.  There is nothing that prevents the majority from increasing the tax rate on the wealthy to 60, 70, 80 or even 90 percent of their income.  

Do the top earners move to other countries?  Will top earners be less motivated to work hard?  Would it lead to civil unrest?  Who knows...

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QOTD (Quote of the Day)

"Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan, 'Press on,' has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race." —Calvin Coolidge

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Blunt opinion: Religion

A controversy over religion.  I have recently had a number of conversations regarding the topic of RELIGION.  I know, many of you are already disgusted at the fact that I'm even bringing it up.  Well, this is called BLUNT OPINIONS so I might as well be blunt.  My personal view is that I have no clue whether God actually exists and I would be willing to wager on the fact that no one, not a single person, not the smartest scientist or the most religious rabbi/priest in the entire world can actually prove that God exists OR doesn't exist.  This is what faith is based on.  The commitment to believing in something even when there is no proof.  

Personally, I like proof.  It makes me feel better knowing that someone has actually figured out why a plane flies or why the sun rises in the east and sets in the west.  To take this a step further, the absence of proof doesn't mean that something doesn't exist.  History is full of events that didn't make sense at the time but were in fact true.  The first people to realize that the world wasn't flat didn't have proof but that didn't make their observation or claim any less right.  But the inverse is also true and possibly even more important to remember.  The fact that you believe in something (no matter how much you believe in it) does not make it true.  In the end, no one knows.    

Personally, I don't believe that there is a God.  I find it hard to believe that there is something out there that is thought to be all knowing, all powerful, even "all mighty" that continually allows so much misery and pain on a daily basis.  A quick look through the newspaper will reveal the struggles people deal with on a daily basis.  Floods, disease, war, famine, rape, murder, theft, and poverty exist on almost every continent.  Doesn't all of this suffering create even a small bit of doubt in the most ardent believers?  And here's the real question that I have wanted to come to.  What is so wrong with doubting?  Isn't doubting what has enabled us to advance this far as a civilization?  Isn't it doubt that convinced the Wright brothers to try to fly.  Wasn't it doubt that convinced Christopher Columbus to try to find a new path to the Indies?  All I'm arguing is that doubting the existence of something that can not be proven isn't wrong but should be encouraged.  We might find in the end that this doubt can lead to a better result.  People come together when they are trying to solve a problem.  It takes teamwork, compromise, trial and error.  The exact opposite is the case when two parties firmly believe they are right and won't consider opening their mind to compromise or the fact that  "God forbid" they might be wrong (couldn't help myself with that one).  Just look at the Democrats and Republicans.  

Let's just consider for a second that God does in fact exist.  Lets also assume that I will be judged in front of a set of pearly white gates.  All of my life sins will be presented and compared with a much smaller list of positive life experiences. Lets just say, and I'm stretching here that only "good" people will be let into heaven while the rest will be sent to rot in a hell much worse than the ones created by movie directors and authors.  I'm talking about true pain and misery for eternity (think Event Horizon - where your worst fears haunt you).  I would hope that I am judged NOT on the fact that i believed or had faith in God but whether I actually led a positive life without creating undue harm to others.  Did I kill anyone?  NOPE.  Did i steal hundreds of thousands from poor and innocent people (a la Bernie Madoff)?  NOPE.  Was I a good friend to those that needed a friend?  Yes.  Those are the things that should matter.  Those are the things that I would like to hope this "all powerful and mighty" God will judge me on and not whether I believed or prayed to him.  So, regardless of whether I actually believe or not, I will continue to go about my life living in a positive manner.  I don't see murder in my future and with that I can rest happy knowing that if in fact i'm wrong and there is a God, everything will be just OK.  

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Blunt Opinions

I'm playing around with the idea of creating a space to openly make blunt, "characterized by directness in manner or speech; without subtlety or evasion" observations, critiques, or statements.  


BE BLUNT...(bluntisms?)

Wearing sandals in a big city is disgusting.  Look at your feet at the end of the day and they will inevitably be black having picked up the dirt and grime of the sidewalks and streets.  Think about it before you put them on next time.


Stone should never be used as a verb.  It should be left as a harmless noun.  "Look at that lovely stone."  Once it is converted to a verb bad things tend to follow.  "To stone" is never followed by a positive clause...

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Why only Saturday and Sunday?

We have all come to enjoy the weekend.  The moment we finish work on Friday there is a sense of relief and excitement that the next two days are going to be something special.  The weekend is "our time" to do whatever it is we feel like without the guilt of work hanging over our heads or the dread of another early morning and possibly late night.  In some senses, we look forward to a late night (oh, how the meaning changes).  But who was it that decided we should get two consecutive days in a row on Saturday and Sunday?  I know there is a religious meaning but its meaning has to be deeper than that.  Did the Greeks and Romans take the weekend off?  Was there a council of elders that sat around and said, "one day doesn't seem like enough...and three days is just crazy.  Let's settle on two days."  Odds are this isn't how it happened either.  Also, the weekend must be a fairly modern concept.  Nomadic tribes and early farmers probably didn't have the resources to take two full days off.

The weekend is so ingrained in our thinking that we feel violated when a boss wants us to work.  After all, it is "your" weekend!

Let's take a step back and think about if there is a better way to set up a week.  Wouldn't it be nice to have Wednesday off?  It would break up the week and possibly even rejuvenate your mind and energy levels for Thursday and Friday.  While we are at it, why not add a day off every two days of work.  It can be a rotating calendar.  Two days on, one day off.  Productivity would explode.  There's no better motivator than a deadline and this system would create a deadline every two days.  There would be no room to procrastinate until Thursday when you are drained from meetings, sales pitches, reports, daily tasks, nosey coworkers and not to mention your actual LIFE.   But I might be getting ahead of myself here.  Let's get back to the joy of THE WEEKEND as we currently now it.

Without a doubt some of us will decide the best way to spend a weekend is to do nothing.  The sweet, sweet joy of sitting on a couch ignoring responsibilities is something special almost all of us have enjoyed at least once (while others will be blushing, realizing that is exactly how they spent last weekend).  The enjoyment takes on a new meaning when you have a busy life. It's like the yin to the yang of the high paced, always in contact world we live in.  It's that much better when life is busy and has you running on all cylinders.  So, take a load off and wait for next weekend.  Imagine what you might be doing or more importantly, what you might NOT be doing.

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Word Clouds - Tagxedo

Have you ever seen those word clouds and wondered how to make one?  Well, here's an easy solution provided by Tagxedo.com.  Simply create a .txt document or sync to a webpage or blog and you are done.  They make it easy to customize the shape, colors, font type and layout.  The possibilities are almost endless.  I created the one below.  It signifies my interests and experiences (as much as i could think of in 5 minutes...)  I picked the shape of the US to signify my unfettered love for AMERICA (just kidding).  I thought it was neat looking and makes me think of my life transition from the LA to Colorado to DC.

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The Next Step

An ode to to a special couple...every once in a while you meet two people you know will eventually get married. They seem to be perfect in the idyllic couple kind of way. Instead of making you noxious in an irritatingly flirtatious and fake sense, they exude a true sense of happiness when they are around each other. They manage to joke about the others faults not in a malicious way but rather in a "that's what makes them special" sort. These are the couples that you can't quite imagine apart. They are a couple. And you honestly hope they stay that way.

This is the case with my great friends Pat and Laura. I have known them for years. I have somehow always known they would end up together. And while it might be dating me a bit, freshman year in college was almost a decade ago. There was just some sort of genuine love for each other that you just don't see everywhere. It doesn't hurt that each of them individually is the kindest, smartest, down to earth, and caring person. Put them together and it's an almost unstoppable combination. Individually they are amazing, together they are perfect.

This is the first of my friends to actually make the plunge and I couldn't be happier for them.

Mazel Tov. That's jew speak for Congrats!

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The PIGS

Sometimes an acronym can exacerbate a problem.  I believe this is the case for the newly anointed European PIGS: Portugal, Ireland, Greece and Spain.  This group of countries, all part of the European Union have huge budget deficits weighing down on there economies which have not recovered from last year's economic meltdown.  Speculation is starting to spread that at least one of them could default on their loans as it is becoming harder and much more costly for them to borrow.  Combine this with the fear that Germany, currently the EU's strongest and most robust economy will not intervene if or when they do.

While an acronym should have no influence on investors and their investing decisions, I don't believe that is the case here.  Perception is as important as ever as the world economy tries to rebound from the worst recession in decades.  Most governments have tried to spend their way into growth which has greatly helped but what happens when they can no longer borrow?  Greece is in the worst shape of them all. But unfortunately for the "IGS" they will all be discussed whenever a conversation touches on Europe's troubles. It is just too catchy of an acronym for the pundits to resist.

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Mixed up Guacamole

• 2 Grilled sweet corn cobs - remove corn from the cob
• 1 Diced tomato
• 4 Diced Avocados - cubed and slightly mashed
• 1/2 to 3/4 Chopped red onion
• 1 grilled and chopped jalapeno pepper with the skin removed
• 1 diced garlic cove
• Cilantro - the more the merrier
• Lime juice - 3/4 of a lime or to taste
• Olive oil - one tbls
• Dash of cayenne pepper
• Salt and pepper
• Optional cucumber (b.c. I love cucumber)

Eat with Endive...or chips

Remove corn for standard guacamole

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SLC Layover

What’s wrong with this picture?

I know there's something wrong but I can't quite place my finger on it...

O.K. I think I have narrowed it down.  Is it the fact that there is a cat in the airport?  Or is the shocking part that there is a cat in the airport on a leash walking around wearing a sweater?    

How about this picture? 

Yep, it’s a pug.  You know, the small, fairly worthless dogs that have a hard time breathing which causes them to snore louder than fat old men.  Well, this pug is proudly being touted as a service dog by his two even more proud dads.  Oh yes, that is a man.

Airports are an amazing place.  A mix of all walks of life.  Presently I’m staring at a 55 year old man proudly wearing a leather biker jacket, checking his email on his smartphone wearing Velcro shoes…it's all very, very confusing.

There’s a woman proudly being driven through the airport because she’s too heavy to walk from one terminal to another.  I’m pretty sure the walk would do her well.  Unfortunately I don't have a picture because the cart was weaving through pedestrian traffic.  But then again, it's probably for the best.

There’s a group of burka clad women standing in the middle of terminal C.  As people walk by it is obvious that they are not trying to look but you can’t hide your eyes.  Almost every pair strains to the side as they pass, innocently making sure there’s no funny business going on. 

Classic America sits down next to me.  Well, half of them.  The real looker sits on the floor and shakes her hand at what must be her parents.  The arm fat sways long after the hand stops shaking.  I can’t help but notice that she’s wearing a wedding ring…it must be her husband sitting by her side with a semi retarded look on his face.  A comment that would normally sound insensitive but in this case it is the most accurate description one can make.    It’s here that I start to wonder how long the two have been married.  If this guy can find a wife, anyone can...

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Helpful Improvements (aka bitch session)

#1 (oh yeah, there's more than one!  This is what happens when Delta and Alaska Airlines completely screw up my flight home.  I'm still in Sun Valley...More on that later.)

Try paying a bill or asking your cable or energy company a question (looking at you Excel, AT&T, Sprint), or better yet try contacting someone who works for United, American Airlines, Cheap Tickets or Expedia.  Yes, I'm directing this at all of you.  Please tell me that this isn't way too familiar; you call looking to pay your bill and you end up listening to the following, "we are sorry, there is an unexpected large volume of calls right now.  Please stay on the line and the next representative will be with you shortly.  Your patience is appreciated." What does it tell you that I was able to recite that from memory!

If there is ALWAYS an unexpectedly large volume of callers, doesn't the large volume eventually become EXPECTED and shouldn't they DEAL WITH IT?  Call me crazy over here...  You claimed that you farmed out customer service to call centers to "better serve" the customers.  But i'm not naive, the real reason was to cut costs.  This leads me to my next, and yes somewhat obvious but equally brilliant comment/request.  Why doesn't the automated voice service that asks for ALL of your personal information, D.O.B., social security number, address, mothers maiden name, if you have any birth marks in interesting places... record this information somewhere for the representative you are eventually going to talk to?  Furthermore, why can't they pass on the information to the next customer service representative once the first person you are talking to realizes that they can not help you?  I don't think the first person I have ever talked to has been able to fully help me.  EVER.  You?

Here's one of the HELP ME, HELP YOU moments i'm so fond of.

Imagine how much time can be saved if the customer service representative didn't need to repeat all of those questions?  On an individual basis it's pretty small, but if you added up all of the calls they take in a day, week, or month and it quickly becomes the mathematical equivalent of A SHIT LOAD!  With all of the added time they have they can answer more calls.

How does this help them?

Think about how much nicer people will be if they don't have to wait on hold and answer the exact same questions they just struggled through while talking to an automated machine?


#2

If I didn't know better I would assume that it was part of Obama's job creation program, but it's not.  I'm talking about the 2 or 3 TSA people at every airport terminal exit making sure people are only exiting. This truly skilled (see Newark airport fiasco from last week where someone slipped back into the airport AFTER making a scene and was actively being watched by TSA security) job can probably be replaced with a one-way turn-style found in many NY subway stations.  This alone could save the airports close to 100K a year.

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Email Evolution: The "Unsend"

Font size...Check

Font color, bold, italicize...Of Course

Undo...For Sure

Hyperlinks, lists, bullets...Why Not

spell check...STANDARD


Sending a letter has come a long way since the days when you had to lick a stamp and envelope.  Email has made all of us perfect spellers and cured even the most illegible handwriting.  But even with all of these great advances, email still lacks one small but greatly important feature.  Lets call it the "unsend" button (and funny enough, I just got the red squiggly line I depend on to correct my atrocious spelling.  I guess "unsend" isn't a real word...YET.)  I'm sure everyone has experienced the sickening feeling that comes with a preemptive push of the send button.  It can come from forgetting to include an attachment, noticing a misspelled word, or even being way too honest after a couple glasses of wine.  But whatever the reason, the technology to unsend an email, if and only if the recipient has not opened it should be available.

Google has made a small step in the right direction with a 20 second undo window...http://gmailblog.blogspot.com/2009/03/new-in-labs-undo-send.html

But I need more.

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The Importance of Friends and Family

It's the holiday/new year's season so I bet a lot of you are thinking that i'm about to write some sappy post about how much I love my family and friends and how important their support over the last year has been....but no, no, no.  I'm going to take an entirely different approach to the importance of family and friends.  It's a social commentary on the advantages someone has purely based on the family they were born into.

YOU ARE WHO YOU HANG OUT WITH

I was recently having a conversation with a successful lawyer about his son who was recently accepted to Stanford.  I'm sure he's a bright student, finishing second in his high school class (i wasn't aware these statistics were released, but i wasn't going to question him) but what really interested me was his essay question answer.  He explained that his sons essay was a comparison of music lyrics to his life and how the lyrics either influenced or mirrored his life and I'm not going to lie, I was impressed.  I can guarantee you that my essay questions for undergrad were well inside the box.  I asked how his son thought of the idea and to my surprise, he admitted that it was his brother's idea.  And this is what made me think (to myself of course) IS WHY FAMILY AND FRIENDS ARE SO IMPORTANT.  The mere fact that he put himself, through his own accord or not, in contact with educated people helped him come up with a great idea, that probably helped him get into one of the premier universities in the country.

Let me explain...

Throughout life you are influenced by the people around you.  As a child your vocabulary is almost purely a function of what your parents say.  You are a sponge whether you like it or not and some people are more fortunate than others to be surrounded by educated and successful people.   But the advantages don't stop there.  How many times have you heard the saying, "it's not what you know, it's the people you know."  There's a lot of truth to that saying and it all shouldn't be looked upon negatively.    People attend college and graduate school to make connections and I have a number of friends that have helped other friends find jobs.  Should all of these people be judged negatively?  I THINK NOT!  There's a limit to how much these so called connections can do for you without you taking on the onus to present yourself in a proper, intelligent, and likable manner.  The door is opened a lot of the time because of these connections but you need to seize the day (carpe diem, if you will) and walk through the door.

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